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01-11-2016, 01:27 AM
(This post was last modified: 01-11-2016, 01:31 AM by Cirrus.
Edit Reason: forgot to tag
)
Cirrus the WindDancer
Stone.
It hung, magically, disobeying the laws of gravity and disabling the rainmare from reaching her father's spear, the weapon that had killed so many, not excluding members of Cirrus' own family. Her teeth clacked painfully against the God's stony wall, her jaw banging abruptly shut, her resolve to end it all withering and dying much like the clouds in the sky above them were now dissipating.
She was Cirrus the Unworthy, Cirrus the Inept, and the God of the Earth wanted her to explain that to him.
Cirrus could not look at him, could not handle to bear the weight of his gaze upon her own pools of shimmering, teary blue. She had failed, and not just here and now, but at everything. She had failed to stop her father from dying, failed to stop her mother from leaving, her sister from becoming estranged to her, failed to stop the boar's mighty tusks from ending her Sitka's life, she was a failure, -even at taking her own life.
She didn't know how much time had passed. Everything seemed very still, very slow and yet Cirrus was left alone with her thoughts for what felt like an eon. Somewhere in this time, the rainmare found her voice.
"Death follows me. Whatever it is who takes souls from this land, stands by me, refusing to take my own soul but instead feasting upon all those I come near." She began, not sure how else to explain herself, except to simply say everything.
Silently, she prayed the Earth God's renowned patience wasn't just some fable, told to comfort foals who sought a pleasant image of their Lord of Earth and Water, because she was about to push her own patience, her own resolve, to its very edge.
"I couldn't save him." Tears sprung behind her eyes anew. "The Ardent. Ázzuen. My father. He was dead when I found him, dead, and there was nothing I could do. Sitka sang, he howled and a pheonix came and took his body away." She wondered if that pheonix was death, disguised as something wonderful and beautiful so that Cirrus wouldn't see it for what it truly was. "I changed then.. The weather bent to my will. I became stronger but I still couldn't stop.. she left me, my mother, I wasn't good enough, strong enough. I.." a hiccough interrupted her words. "I did everything I could to be better. I became a Healer. I liked healing." It was said almost as an afterthought, a realisation that had just come to her.
"But I.. The herd changed. So much happened.. I couldn't keep up. I went exploring and, and… Sitka.. He didn't come back. He's gone, I couldn't save him, he's gone…" Her voice broke once more as sobs shook her, her tiara bowed deeper as the pain of the memory settled across her entire body, the shattered remnants of her soul bared for the Earth lord to see, if he would only look.
Time passed again, as the girl bore the pain of Sitka's departure from her soul all over again. Tears spewed freely over her eyelids and streamed down her chiselled cheekbones in dark rivulets, shudders took hold of her body as she fought against the emotion and lost, time and time again. It took as long as it would take for her regain some composure, but it did happen, even if she spoke now with a deadness in her tone, a monotonous, inflectionless drawl that was evidence of the weariness that was the husk of a soul left inside her.
"I tried to come back. I tried to be a warrior, a defender of the herd." Death followed her around, she may as well try to use it to her advantage in killing those who might harm her home. "Then I heard you, your call, your strength and might, in the Meadow. So I came, and you said I wanted to heal, but I don't know if I am a healer - how can I be a healer if all I've ever done is kill?" It was a question asked to no-one, a rhetoric she only gave consideration to for a second before plunging onwards. "You told me to purify - I don’t know what purify is, but everyone I saw had a deep drink of the water we were near. You wanted me to collect.. tokens.. From their corpses.."
Her nose scrunched at the memory, as she remembered hearing the God's instructions, and immediately trying to puzzle them out. Cirrus was not stupid, but she chose what was the most logical to her - and when all the creatures she had come across begged her for death, what was she to do?
"I wanted to heal them. But I couldn't. I wanted to help them, and they all wanted death. They asked me to, every one. I didn't want to, but they asked, they wanted it, and you wanted their corpses…" And there it was, the connection Cirrus had made, from the instructions given to her.
What else was the girl to do?
Just FYI - I'm looking for an excuse for Cirrus to go join the Falls, so if Earthy would like to add 'joining the Falls' onto the list of things Cirrus can do to redeem herself (because obv she didn't do the quest 100% right), I would be OK with this ;D
It hung, magically, disobeying the laws of gravity and disabling the rainmare from reaching her father's spear, the weapon that had killed so many, not excluding members of Cirrus' own family. Her teeth clacked painfully against the God's stony wall, her jaw banging abruptly shut, her resolve to end it all withering and dying much like the clouds in the sky above them were now dissipating.
She was Cirrus the Unworthy, Cirrus the Inept, and the God of the Earth wanted her to explain that to him.
Cirrus could not look at him, could not handle to bear the weight of his gaze upon her own pools of shimmering, teary blue. She had failed, and not just here and now, but at everything. She had failed to stop her father from dying, failed to stop her mother from leaving, her sister from becoming estranged to her, failed to stop the boar's mighty tusks from ending her Sitka's life, she was a failure, -even at taking her own life.
She didn't know how much time had passed. Everything seemed very still, very slow and yet Cirrus was left alone with her thoughts for what felt like an eon. Somewhere in this time, the rainmare found her voice.
"Death follows me. Whatever it is who takes souls from this land, stands by me, refusing to take my own soul but instead feasting upon all those I come near." She began, not sure how else to explain herself, except to simply say everything.
Silently, she prayed the Earth God's renowned patience wasn't just some fable, told to comfort foals who sought a pleasant image of their Lord of Earth and Water, because she was about to push her own patience, her own resolve, to its very edge.
"I couldn't save him." Tears sprung behind her eyes anew. "The Ardent. Ázzuen. My father. He was dead when I found him, dead, and there was nothing I could do. Sitka sang, he howled and a pheonix came and took his body away." She wondered if that pheonix was death, disguised as something wonderful and beautiful so that Cirrus wouldn't see it for what it truly was. "I changed then.. The weather bent to my will. I became stronger but I still couldn't stop.. she left me, my mother, I wasn't good enough, strong enough. I.." a hiccough interrupted her words. "I did everything I could to be better. I became a Healer. I liked healing." It was said almost as an afterthought, a realisation that had just come to her.
"But I.. The herd changed. So much happened.. I couldn't keep up. I went exploring and, and… Sitka.. He didn't come back. He's gone, I couldn't save him, he's gone…" Her voice broke once more as sobs shook her, her tiara bowed deeper as the pain of the memory settled across her entire body, the shattered remnants of her soul bared for the Earth lord to see, if he would only look.
Time passed again, as the girl bore the pain of Sitka's departure from her soul all over again. Tears spewed freely over her eyelids and streamed down her chiselled cheekbones in dark rivulets, shudders took hold of her body as she fought against the emotion and lost, time and time again. It took as long as it would take for her regain some composure, but it did happen, even if she spoke now with a deadness in her tone, a monotonous, inflectionless drawl that was evidence of the weariness that was the husk of a soul left inside her.
"I tried to come back. I tried to be a warrior, a defender of the herd." Death followed her around, she may as well try to use it to her advantage in killing those who might harm her home. "Then I heard you, your call, your strength and might, in the Meadow. So I came, and you said I wanted to heal, but I don't know if I am a healer - how can I be a healer if all I've ever done is kill?" It was a question asked to no-one, a rhetoric she only gave consideration to for a second before plunging onwards. "You told me to purify - I don’t know what purify is, but everyone I saw had a deep drink of the water we were near. You wanted me to collect.. tokens.. From their corpses.."
Her nose scrunched at the memory, as she remembered hearing the God's instructions, and immediately trying to puzzle them out. Cirrus was not stupid, but she chose what was the most logical to her - and when all the creatures she had come across begged her for death, what was she to do?
"I wanted to heal them. But I couldn't. I wanted to help them, and they all wanted death. They asked me to, every one. I didn't want to, but they asked, they wanted it, and you wanted their corpses…" And there it was, the connection Cirrus had made, from the instructions given to her.
What else was the girl to do?
Just FYI - I'm looking for an excuse for Cirrus to go join the Falls, so if Earthy would like to add 'joining the Falls' onto the list of things Cirrus can do to redeem herself (because obv she didn't do the quest 100% right), I would be OK with this ;D
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@Mythical Request
please do not feel pressured into mirroring the length of any of my posts
I write what I feel at the time
and hope everyone else does the same c:
