The lay of the land betrays him. The cloak of his own title confounds and oppresses him, and he does not realize that the mask of I'm-good-I'm-okay is still etched onto his face until he sees the shadow of sadness and disappointment in her eyes. His smile fractures at the edges, and he sighs quietly into the cold of the air. Their smiles match each other's now, and he welcomes the warmth of her lips as they brush comfortingly against his own, chasing away both the chill of the snow and that of his own solitude. He had forgotten how cold you could grow with no body to lay beside, no brother to brush sides with, no family to share intimate touches with. He had lost them all, and yet here Sohalia was, seemingly so soon after their last reunion. She had not forgotten him. She who stood as alone as he did, reaching out to clasp fingers in the dim light. A solitary thread, a singular link that was as precious as it was fragile. 

His name was a benediction on her lips, and he did not deserve the relaxation he inspired in her beautiful frame. He did not deserve to hold the ability to chase the shadows from her eyes, and yet the mantle she placed upon him was far more welcome than the pain of his own shouldered burdens. This, he could carry. He wanted this, though he felt undeserving of it. Kaj would let her down, just as he had everybody else. He didn't want to see her face when he did. He may be stronger now without his memories, but even he could not deny that those he had failed still ranked in numbers he was too ashamed to face. How many more existed that he had cowardly forgotten?

She inquired after his state of mind, and the Aurelight couldn't help the pitiful, bitter laugh that escaped him. The memory of the herd meeting surrounded him, the disgruntled faces and rolling eyes, the displeasure - with Kaj - rolling off them in waves. "My family, my herd - the only thing that keeps me going, my only purpose in life...they despise me. All I have ever wanted is a family to love and be loved by," he admitted quietly, eyes dropping away from orbs the same shade and type of grief that he knew so well. It was too much like looking into a mirror while he admitted these things. "Without that purpose...what else do I have? What am I?" The whisper cracked like something bitter and broken on his tongue, and Kaj felt frozen in time with the admission he hadn't spoken aloud to anyone before. 

Shaking his head to rid himself of his little pity party he focused a sad smile on Sohalia. "But you came here for a reason," he noted softly, concern taking over his features. "What is it? What can I do?"