The moon child and his bird stood as quiet sentinels by the waterfall, the soft silver glow of their bodies a blanket of misery. For a time, it was only Mesec’s laboured breathing that joined the noises of the night. He fought sleep and exhaustion, trying to will some sort of plan into place. After the hurry of their escape, standing still for this long felt strange - and his dark legs trembled occasionally as his mind continued to race. Perhaps he should have stayed, should have apologized, but his mind had been so clouded with the borrowed memories of Lucius - the taste of Gaucho’s blood had still been fresh in his mouth...

A small cry of despair as he realized he still had blood on him - though the majority of it now was from the deer he had hunted. Mesec shut his eyes, as though that simple action could block out the thoughts and images that came with them.

He might not have even noticed that they weren’t alone anymore if it hadn’t been for a low hiss from Lucius where the zephyr was perched on his wing. A rustling in the bushes nearby and Mesec’s eyes flashed open again - looking toward the source. His heart hammered and as he tried to figure out what he could do, looking around for possible escape routes… and then Ampere was there. As soon as he recognized her, it felt as though the world came crashing to a stop - even his own heavy breathing caught and stilled. Those first few moments of disbelief pinned him to his spot and it was all he could do to stare at her. And then crippling wave of selfish, disgusting joy (could he ever look at her and not feel some sort of joy?) mingled with absolute grief hit the demigod as his eyes sought hers. No, no! What was she doing here? Mesec never thought he’d actually wish distance between himself and Ampere. He was used to his own fear and uncertainty keeping them apart, never knowing what to do, but that fear was so silly compared to the one that caused him to back up away from her. Now, instead of being afraid that he would do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing to scare her away, he was afraid he might kill her.

Lucius hissed again but quieted when Ampere didn’t move any closer. She appeared to be no more capable of moving than Mesec was, rooted to her spot as her quiet words and tears fell like blows.

He should leave but he didn’t, not yet.

“I do.” And there it was, the words he had meant to say in the Thistle Meadow, the ones he had been holding onto for so long. This wasn’t how he imagined he might say it - with this distance between them, with this horrible pain shining in his eyes as though he were handing her a death sentence. “I love you so much, Ampere.” The pain of the transformation was nothing compared to what had a grip on him now, his silver eyes shutting against it as they filled with tears of his own.

“That’s why…” He remembered what he had been focused on before he had transformed, remembered the (arguing) family, how perfect they had seemed, how his stupid confession would be. Remembered the heartache of thinking she had tied herself to Gaucho. “I need to leave. I can’t stay here, waiting for it to happen again.” Mesec felt lost - he couldn’t think of what to do next. He honestly didn’t even know if he could leave Helovia or if the blood of his mother rooted him here. “Lucius told me what happened. It was only luck that I didn’t go after you or the foals…” The foals. Zero and the small twins, the ones that looked so much like Gaucho…

He started shaking his head, as much to dispel those images as it was in rejection of this situation. He feared that he had lingered here with her for too long. He was exhausted - his despair had leave to run a destructive course as that violent magic was too worn out to even be called upon. But the risk that it might appear seemed far too great. “I’m not safe, you shouldn’t have come.” He resumed those shaky steps that would back him away, but his hoof struck the ice of the pond behind him and it stalled him from retreating further. “Go back to Gaucho, go back to your family.” His voice cracked with that final word, unable to deny how much he had wished he could have had that with her. Maybe if he had been more forward, maybe if he had realized what she meant to him sooner, but it was too late to think of those lost chances now.

He’d carry his poisonous love for her out of Helovia, into the wilds and far away from everyone he could hurt. Away from her.

we'll go over the mountains and under the stars