Another day of leaving Rein back home. Another day of aimless wandering. Another day of feeling like the earth was beginning to be sucked from beneath her hooves. She had thought the chains in the Meadow that Murtagh was kind enough to give to her after finding them would be a relief. Not a flashback from her past. She had hoped that they would be different. That they wouldn’t line her back in a graceful adorning fit for a queen like they had been. She felt a sour feeling ache deeply into her bones, whether from the winter’s bite or guilt, she couldn’t be sure. Yet each step she took was shakier than the last, leaving her alone in the Heavenly Fields despite her body wishing to carry her further away. Each step feeling heavier than the last. A cloud of fog snuffed out the sun from above, snow covered the earth in a blanket, and despite the chill all Rexanna could think of was her past. The cold couldn’t touch her in her thoughts, but a chill of a different kind surely would.

Rexanna sunk to her knees first, her hind toppling after her. The golden chains crossing her back danced with such a movement that began to almost make her sick. She felt blinded in the sense she couldn’t remember where exactly she had ended up, but instead seemed to be repeating the steps she took before everything happened. Before Cal. Before the trials. Before the pain. Before the loss of her first child.

A shiver ran deep beneath her spine. It was like she was watching it again, like he made her do with him as he watched. The Blood Prince. The future King of the North and the West. She remembered their first meeting vividly, almost as if she could reach out her nose and touch it. His orange eyes met her own blue ones, watching and waiting for her to mess up. And when she didn’t, a smile crossed his face as he laughed and walked away. A smile she used to love but learned to hate. She remembered his blood red feathers as he pulled them out before her, his wings wide and strong. Taking in her awed gaze with a chuckle. Before that day, the golden girl had never seen a Pegasus before. He simply just astounded her. And yet she disgusted him, in one of the worst ways she had ever felt since.

She let the memories begin to blur together until it started over again. From the beginning to the end, blurring and beginning over and over again. Beginning at her conscription and ending at the point where he had given her those golden chains. Exactly like the ones she had been fighting to rid herself of for the fear of him finding her. But she had nothing to worry in Helovia, right? No one would recognize her here. No one had in the year that she had been here. And she had done many things! She wasn’t no longer the useless flaw, the lie. She was a Thief instead. Something she had been all along, hoping that perhaps that she would be able to make herself something one day. Back in her homeland, she never would have been anything other than a crowned slave. A glorified servant. Serving her Northern King in any way she could.

Before he lied to her.

Before he told her that she had been a princess and not a slave all along.

Before he told her that she had killed her mother and was then shunned for it.

Before he told her that she was his daughter and that he was just trying to protect her.

Before he threw her into ultimate danger like a used rag.

She remembered the beginning again; being taken to the Kingdom of the West. Wide eyed and fascinated at the creatures that looked so much different than her home and yet still the same. When she reached the palace, she watched as the guards allowed her through, letting her azure gaze take in every sight in awe. She remembered him. And then it flashed forward again. A dark night, the two of them alone after she had spent a few moments longer than she should have, lingering in the halls of the Western lands. He moved from the shadows, the Blood Prince despite his height and muscular body seemed to move without a sound. He moved beside her, her golden pelt shying away from his touch, if it weren’t for the large striped wings he bore that pulled her in closer, she might have managed to escape the gift.

Oh how she wished she could’ve seen it before. Now, she felt as though she should’ve known from that beginning meeting. Seen everything that had happened. But she was not gifted like that. Like them. He offered her a gift, and Rexanna was in no place as a yearling to deny a gift from a prince. So she accepted it, gracefully and thankfully. Not realizing that they would be the marking of the trade later on down the line. What she once believed to be a great gift, golden chains to adorn her already golden pelt, became her cage.

She realized now that everything that he had done had been for a reason. Perhaps she hadn’t done enough to keep his rage from finding her. Perhaps she should have told him before he used his magic on her that she was carrying their child. Perhaps it would’ve made a difference.

But what difference would it have made? She knew that nothing she could say would change his mind on anything. That much was sure when he told her that she had to pay for a price that she didn’t even know about. He told her how much she hurt him. How much pain she had given him. How much she had let him down. That she had upset him that badly to destroy their home. That it was all her fault, and she had to bear witness to it.

Then she remembered that he had said he loved her.

It struck a fiery chord within her breast. As Rexanna reached the ground, the icy tendrils dancing up to touch her legs, she felt her magic pulsing beneath her veins. Her golden horn glowing a red and orange as her blue gaze clouded by memories shut tightly, forcing back the tears that would line her exotic face like a treasure map. She tried to regulate her breathing, but solace didn’t come. Her fear of a creature she thought could be the man of her dreams was becoming more tangible with those damn golden chains that lined her frame. Rexanna pulled herself together enough to try and shake the chains away, trying to rid herself of a cage that she had willingly put herself back into.

“I used to be his. I could've been a queen.” Flashed into her mind. “Now I’m just a Thief.” A shudder passed through her body before she exhaled deeply, lowering her head ever so carefully to the icy earth below, keeping her blue eyes shut tight. Watching the slideshow of memories pass behind closed lids.

"Talk."

— I don’t love you,

but I always will.