the Rift


Beneath the Bleeding Sky [Ashamin vs Seanan]

Ashamin the Clovenheart Posts: 426
Outcast atk: 8 | def: 11.5 | dam: 5.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.2 HH :: 5 [Frostfall] HP: 79 | Buff: NUMB
Lochan :: Plain Cerndyr :: Dark Mist & Rakt :: Common Cerndyr :: Starpast Jen
#2

ASHAMIN

The earth beneath them was deep going. Heavy rain slicked the Clovenheart’s hide as the storm picked up and began to penetrate the canopy that he’d hoped would provide better shelter. Luckily, Ashamin didn’t mind the rain. Later though, when wounds peppered his hide and the skies were clear, he’d wish they’d sparred on a sunnier day.

In the moment, however, Ashamin had little time to contemplate the weather. He was aware of his surroundings—for he knew this was crucial—but he was not concerned by them. The stallion had fought in far worse conditions and had scars to prove it. After fighting Rikyn on similarly slippery turf and sparring Erebos in denser woods, Ashamin had some handle on how to approach the situation. Looking over Seanan, it appeared their environment would be in the Clovenheart’s favor. The white stallion looked as if he had the hot blood of a long distance runner, whereas the painted stag boasted superior nimbleness and strength. In these tight quarters where Ashamin had spent much of his time, it would be much easier for him to make quick turns and hard hits. These differences in their builds, combined with the additional eyes of Lochan and Rakt watching Seanan’s every move, stacked the odds heavily in the paint’s favor.

Were their competition anything more than a friendly one meant to teach, the Clovenheart would have smiled at that. As it were, however, he tried to focus on learning. Surely with a form as sharp and thin as that, Seanan fought uniquely. Ashamin was eager to see what he could pick up from his opponent’s movements—was already wondering how he could apply his observations to future spars. With any luck, Seanan might come out of their encounter thinking similarly. Ashamin’s motives for initiating the spar hadn’t been entirely selfish after all; he hoped he could open the pale stallion’s mind.

As wonderful as thoughts of knowledge and triumph were, however, they proved to be detrimental distractions. Though Ashamin saw Seanan begin to pivot, he was not focused enough to think beyond that, and Lochan and Rakt were not yet prepared. With both Cerndyr unable to offer Ashamin any tactical advice and only just positioning themselves (Rakt to the left and further away, Lochan closer and by Ashamin’s right,) the Clovenheart had only his own eyes.

What he saw was Seanan turning away and then sliding, perhaps unintentionally, as mud splashed and stained. What he saw was an opportunity to attack the white stallion when vulnerable and avoid the swinging hind, and so he began to move just barely forward and hopefully towards Seanan’s right. Only, he had seen everything wrong.

Before Ashamin was even close to his intended target he realized his mistake. The problem was it was too late to clear himself entirely of the rising legs by moving backwards, and a sturdy tree prevented him from continuing forth. With a grunt of frustration, the Clovenheart resigned himself to some injury and hoped that Seanan’s seemingly poorly-controlled movement would do little damage.

The painted buck began to move backwards as quickly as possible, shuffling on hind hooves that slipped and afforded him little purchase. What he attempted next couldn’t be called a rear, but maybe incredibly sloppy mezair—the kind that only those with no training in fighting would perform. Had Ashamin been facing his father, he would have been ashamed. As it were he was only thankful that he succeeded at all, for the small amount that he had managed to lift his forehand was enough to save his skull.

The whites of his eyes shown wild as Seanan’s hooves made purchase, first one and then the other striking Ashamin’s right forearm. They cut surprisingly deep, as if the rain had sharpened them to knife points, and the second that the blood burst from the two cuts (so close they were almost one) white electricity exploded forth. He could do nothing but focus on landing and getting away from Seanan; attacking was not a priority.

When he’d shuffled further back on his hindquarters and managed to get three uninjured legs on the ground, his head and necklace first hung low. Blood flowed down his leg and pooled into paint, staining his white right fore-hoof and leg so that they his marked left. When he tossed up his gaze it was filled with the same electricity that burst from his cuts and buzzed beneath them in an attempt to quickly repair the bruises they hid. Ashamin allowed one more second to pass before utilizing magic and commanding Lochan to do the same. Dark mists flowed from Lochan’s antlers and turned the raindrops ashen, and Ashamin attempted to force Seanan’s heart to quicken.

The mischief in Seanan’s eyes? Ashamin considered it managed.

""



The Clovenheart
Image Credits


PC: 1/3
WC: 798/800 (Down from 913 ;-;)
Note: Confirming that I will be providing teaching notes.
Magic used:
:: [ Magic: LightxSpark (U) | Able to share and alter the heartbeats of others to feel and influence their emotions. ]
:: [ Restrictions | Lasts one post in battle and requires permission outside of battle; can cause discomfort by influencing the electrical pulses to their heart. ]
» Lochan's Dark Mist: Can summon thick mists that can cloud emotions and thoughts of their opponent

Teaching Notes
I'm going to start off by saying that this was an awesome post! Since you didn't take damage but just attacked there's also less to comment on, but I'm sure in your next post I can talk about that some and you will have more notes from me.

+ Environment: AWESOME job mentioning this! A lot of people forget to describe or consider their surroundings, but I really felt grounded in the scene and you also used it when Seanan was thinking pre-attack and while he was attacking. This is something you should continue to utilize, especially in a fight like this where the setting is something that will interfere with your characters movements and possibly hinder them.
+ Breed/stat differences: You did a great job of taking into account the different builds that Seanan and Ashamin have and working that into how you should attack or defend/what general stance you should take in this fight. They are very differently shaped stallions, and fighting polar opposites can be fun but also challenging, because it means you and your opponent both have obvious weak points where the others are strong. Well handled!
- Directionals/positioning: Don't forget to include these when describing your attack. They will make it infinitely easier for your opponent to figure out where they should take damage, how they should avoid it, etc. If you don't include these then your opponent has to try and make them up, which puts them in the awkward position of assuming your character is maybe somewhere that they aren't in order to take damage. Plus it takes control away from you! As is I didn't know which way Seanan was pivoting, which made things tougher.
- Emotion: I felt at times that Seanan's emotion or at least thoughts were missing. I wanted to know more of his internality and thought process throughout your post, and you had plenty of words left in your wordcount to make this happen. Not really a hard minus, just something to think about for future posts! Sometimes emotion can fall by the wayside towards the wordcount finishline but when you have extra words, make sure you use them if you need to (for emotion, clarity, whatever)
~ Previous experience: This isn't a plus or minus, just a suggestion. Something that judges really like to see is that you and/or your character is thinking about previous fights and comparing those situations to the current one, since practice makes perfect! Seanan has had a few fights onsite already so you're in luck and have material to draw from, but he can also be thinking about how fighting may (or may not) tie in with his history!


See Ashamin's profile for more information about Lochan, Rakt, and his various items.
All magic and force allowed, barring death and permanent injury.
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Messages In This Thread
RE: Beneath the Bleeding Sky [Ashamin vs Seanan] - by Ashamin - 07-18-2016, 07:13 PM

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